Money is deeply personal, yet in many Australian households it remains one of the least transparent parts of a relationship. Recent research shows that hidden spending, undisclosed debt and secret financial decisions are not isolated behaviours, but widespread issues that can quietly undermine both relationships and long-term financial outcomes.
Financial secrecy often begins as an attempt to avoid conflict, embarrassment or difficult conversations. Its consequences, however, tend to emerge later, particularly during separation or divorce. At that point, what was hidden can materially reshape asset division, retirement outcomes and future financial security.
Understanding how financial infidelity interacts with Australian family law and financial planning is increasingly important for individuals at every life stage.
Financial infidelity is more common than many Australians expect
Research from Finder highlights how widespread financial secrecy has become. The survey of 1,017 Australians, including 591 people in relationships, found that 27% of respondents admitted to hiding financial behaviour from their partner.
The behavior extends well beyond occasional overspending. One in 10 respondents admitted to secretly accumulating debt through a credit card or personal loan. Others reported opening bank accounts or credit cards in their own name only, gambling without disclosure, making significant purchases such as cars or luxury items, or financially supporting family members in secret. In some cases, individuals withdrew large sums from joint accounts without discussion.
This type of behaviour can erode trust quickly, particularly when shared assets, housing security or long-term plans are affected.
How hidden money decisions undermine long-term wealth outcomes
Financial secrecy does more than strain relationships. It weakens the foundations required for effective wealth creation. Joint decision-making, risk management and strategy depend on transparency. When one partner lacks visibility over debts, investments or liabilities, meaningful planning becomes difficult to sustain.
Over time, this can lead to duplicated spending, missed tax opportunities, inappropriate investment risk, or inadequate insurance cover. For households working towards retirement, business succession or asset accumulation, hidden financial behavior introduces uncertainty that compounds year after year.
When one partner controls the finances
Money secrecy often reflects deeper dynamics within relationships. The Australian Financial Review reports that many couples avoid financial discussions altogether, with one partner commonly taking full responsibility for managing household finances.
This arrangement may develop for practical reasons, such as time pressure or perceived expertise. However, when one partner controls all financial decisions, power imbalances can emerge. Oversight is reduced, accountability weakens and vulnerabilities increase if poor decisions, overspending or addictive behaviours arise.
The risk becomes more pronounced during life events such as having children, illness, redundancy or business disruption, where cashflow and financial resilience are already under pressure.
What happens when relationships break down
When relationships deteriorate, hidden or poorly understood financial arrangements often surface for the first time. This can create shock, mistrust and complexity at precisely the moment clear decision-making is most needed.
Under Australian family law, debt is not treated separately from assets. Australian Family Lawyers notes that credit cards, personal loans, mortgages and tax liabilities are assessed alongside property, savings and investments.
Courts consider who incurred the debt, whether it benefited the relationship, each party’s capacity to repay it and future financial needs. Hidden or reckless spending, including gambling or undisclosed liabilities, can materially affect settlement outcomes.
Divorce does not automatically end financial exposure
A divorce finalises the legal end of a marriage, but it does not automatically sever financial ties. Without a legally binding property settlement, former partners may remain exposed to future financial claims.
Under the Family Law Act, property claims can generally be brought for up to 12 months after divorce, or longer in certain circumstances, according to Lander & Rogers. Even assets acquired after separation may be considered if financial matters remain unresolved.
This remains a common and costly misconception, particularly for people rebuilding their lives after separation.
Family trusts and complex structures are not always protected
While family trusts are often assumed to sit outside divorce proceedings, this is not always the case. Courts examine the level of control a party has over a trust, including roles such as trustee or appointor.
If a party is deemed to control the trust, its assets may be included in the property pool. Even when trust assets are excluded, expected future benefits may still influence settlement outcomes.
This can significantly reshape wealth outcomes for high-net-worth families who rely on trusts for asset protection or tax planning.
Asset division is rarely a simple 50/50 split
Many people assume divorce settlements default to equal division. In practice, Cudmore Legal explains that Australian courts apply a multi-step process assessing financial and non-financial contributions, future earning capacity, caregiving responsibilities and ongoing needs.
Outcomes commonly result in adjusted splits such as 60/40 or 70/30 rather than equal division. Hidden debts, undisclosed spending or poor financial conduct during the relationship can further influence the final result.
Why financial advice matters before, during and after separation
These issues show how financial secrecy, poor communication and lack of planning can reshape wealth outcomes long after a relationship ends. Proactive advice can help individuals:
⦁ Improve transparency and shared financial understanding
⦁ Identify hidden risks early
⦁ Model post-separation cashflow and lifestyle sustainability
⦁ Protect superannuation and long-term retirement planning outcomes
Working with a qualified financial planner or Gold Coast financial adviser can provide structure during periods of uncertainty and help translate complex legal and financial considerations into practical decisions.
How RFS Advice supports clients through financial transitions
RFS Advice works with individuals and families navigating relationship change, wealth creation and retirement transitions. Through tailored financial planning, cash flow modelling and long-term strategy, our team helps clients understand their position, clarify options and make informed decisions at each stage of life.
Whether you are building wealth, preparing for retirement or managing financial change after separation, thoughtful planning can reduce uncertainty and support better outcomes over time.
If you would like to discuss how your financial position may be affected by relationship changes, retirement goals or complex asset structures, speak with the team at RFS Advice to understand your options and next steps.
Frequently asked questions
Financial infidelity itself is not a criminal offence. However, non-disclosure of assets or reckless spending can influence property settlements and, in some circumstances, may intersect with broader family law considerations.
Not necessarily. Courts assess whether the debt benefited the relationship, when it was incurred and each party’s ability to repay it before allocating responsibility.
Yes, if a legally binding property settlement has not been finalised, post-separation assets may still be considered within certain time limits.
Trusts may be included in settlements if one party is deemed to control them. Even when excluded, future trust benefits can still influence outcomes.
Advice can assist with understanding asset exposure, modelling cashflow, protecting superannuation and rebuilding long-term financial strategies aligned with new circumstances.
General Advice Warning
The information in this article is general in nature and does not take into account your personal objectives, financial situation or needs. You should consider whether it is appropriate for you and seek personal advice before making any financial decision. RFS Advice may receive commission from insurance products where applicable.
